My brother’s texts resemble pieces of an archaic script: “hru,” “wyd,” “plz”—abbreviated, enigmatic, and always leaving me unsatisfied. Often, I question if “gr8” indicates genuine enthusiasm or merely a routine acknowledgment.
This peculiarity has bothered me for years. So I finally set out on my journey. a series of studies with fellow researchers Sam Maglio and Yiran Zhang I was curious if these abbreviated messages could potentially hinder authentic conversation, examining the implicit cues hidden within digital shortcuts.
As we collected data, polled individuals, and established experiments, it became evident that these small shortcuts—which are often praised for their efficiency in communication—actually damage relationships rather than streamlining them.
Brief words result in feelings of being cheated.
Many individuals casually type "ty" for "thank you" and "brb" for "be right back" without giving it a second thought.
In a survey we carried out involving 150 American texters aged between 18 and 65 years old, , 90.1% stated they frequently use abbreviations in their everyday communications, and 84.2% felt that these shortened forms either had a beneficial influence or did not significantly affect how the messages were received by others.
However, our research indicates that simply including abbreviations, even though they might seem harmless, can feel dismissive. To put it another way, when a sender shortens messages by reducing words to just their initial consonants, receivers perceive this as laziness, leading to decreased engagement.
This is a nuanced yet widespread occurrence that eludes most individuals' natural understanding.
We began with regulated laboratory experiments, where we exposed 1,170 individuals ranging from 15 to 80 years old to one of two similar text conversations—one containing numerous abbreviations and the other written entirely without them. Across all situations, the subjects assessed the individual using abbreviations as lacking sincerity and considerably less deserving of a response.
As we delved deeper, the pattern grew increasingly uniform.
Regardless of whether individuals were perusing texts regarding their weekend activities or significant life occurrences, the appearance of abbreviated terms like "plz," "sry," or "idk" instead of "please," "sorry," or "I don't know" left receivers feeling unsatisfied.
This effect wasn’t limited to unfamiliar individuals. We conducted further tests to determine if proximity influenced this behavior. Would you be able to use as many abbreviations as you like when messaging a close friend or a significant other?
It seems so. Individuals who envisioned conversing with an old friend also mentioned being slightly unsettled by incomplete words, which diminished the authenticity of their experience.
From Discord to romance platforms
Nevertheless, we harbored lingering uncertainties: Could this potentially just be an artifact of laboratory conditions?
We were curious if actual individuals using genuine platforms would act differently. Thus, we brought up our queries. to Discord , an energetic online social hub where individuals discuss topics ranging from anime to politics. Additionally, Discord hosts many young users for whom using abbreviations comes naturally.
We sent messages to various users requesting their recommendations for TV shows to watch. In one batch of messages, we wrote everything out completely, whereas in another batch, we used numerous abbreviations. Consistent with our laboratory findings, A smaller number of individuals replied to the shortened request. . Even among digital natives —young, technology-savvy individuals familiar with the informal lingo of texting found that a message filled with abbreviations still seemed incomplete.
When a couple of omitted letters can make small talk unpleasant, imagine how they affect matters of the heart. Texting has emerged as an essential part of contemporary relationships, ranging from playful flirting to heartfelt admissions. Can a simple “pls call” potentially harm a developing relationship? Does “r u free?” suggest indifference rather than interest? We embarked on another exploration driven by these queries, aiming to uncover whether the quick convenience of shorthand could disrupt the subtle steps involved in romantic and intimate connections.
We dived headfirst into the world of romance, which reached its peak on Valentine's Day through an online rapid matchmaking session.
We matched participants for scheduled "dates" within a private messaging platform, and provided incentives to half of them, encouraging the use of shortcuts like "ty" rather than writing out "thank you" in their responses.
As they exchanged contact details, those involved in these encounters found themselves less inclined to accept abbreviated notes, often attributing this reluctance to insufficient effort shown by the sender. This impression was further supported by an independent investigation which meticulously examined over a hundred thousand exchanges on Tinder. According to their findings, texts filled with shorthand like “u” and “rly” garnered fewer replies and tended to prematurely end dialogues.
What matters is the intention behind it.
Let’s make this explicit: We’re not pushing for a ban on “lol.” Research indicates that an occasional use of abbreviations doesn’t automatically harm a relationship. Also, not every message you send daily to numerous individuals requires fully written words. If sincerity isn’t your main concern and you don’t require a response from the receiver, then feel free to use abbreviations as much as you like.
Rather than anything else, it's the frequent use of abbreviated expressions that steadily diminishes our perception of the sender’s genuineness. Typing “plz” multiple times during an interaction might convey that the recipient doesn’t merit the additional characters. This impact could be slight within one chat session; however, these effects build up over prolonged periods.
If your primary objective is to foster a stronger bond—with someone you consider a friend, a brother/sister, or even a potential romantic interest—pausing for an additional moment to write "thank you" could prove to be quite beneficial.
Shortcuts started as a smart solution for the cumbersome keypads of early flip phones, where typing involved pressing “5” three times just to get an “L.” strict monthly character limits And yet, here we remain, well beyond those times, continuing to use "omg" and "brb" as if the need for them ever ceased.
Following all those research efforts, I revisited my brother’s messages with renewed perspective. We had discussed how using small abbreviations could be perceived as careless or uninterested. Despite this, he continues to use “brb” frequently, and I doubt I’ll ever catch him writing out “I’m sorry.” However, things seem to be changing—lately, he has used “thank you” multiple times and unexpectedly sent a genuinely warm “hope you’re doing well” recently.
It's a subtle change, yet perhaps that’s precisely the idea: Occasionally, adding a handful of extra letters might make others feel truly valued.
This piece has been republished from The Conversation Under a Creative Commons license. Review the original article .
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